Andy and Tony were thirteen. Shari and Candace were twelve. The four of them played together all the time. Shari was always at Andy’s bedroom window or backdoor, waiting for the next adventure. The foursome had played touch football and were tired of that game. Someone had heard of Spin the Bottle. Shari wanted to… Continue reading Spin the Bottle
Category: worsts
Asinine Aspenite
Pam was living in Aspen Colorado, being a ski bum by day and working as a waitress by night. It was her early twenties, and life was an adventure. She met a nice guy on the chairlift. He was a part-time construction worker and a part-time ski instructor. He asked her out for that night,… Continue reading Asinine Aspenite
Mr. Huggable
His name on Plenty of Fish was Mr. Huggable. Her name was Charming Classic. She didn’t know yet that first dates are better as a coffee meet and greet, not a full-blown lunch. They agreed to meet at El Charro, a nice Mexican restaurant in Lafayette. It was set for 1:00 in the restaurant bar… Continue reading Mr. Huggable
Too Tired to Boogie
The band room was a freezer. “Vamos a sentarnos en el pasillo, clase.” “What?” “We’ll sit in the hallway today.” It was zero degrees outside. The school district wanted a Spanish class but had no classroom for me. I’d complained a zillion times – when the band teacher held private tuba lessons in his office,… Continue reading Too Tired to Boogie
Phantom of the Halloween Party
Roberto put on his white mask and black cape and headed to WLPJ’s in Walnut Creek for his singles’ club annual Halloween party. Available middle-aged women milled around the bar in their skimpy alter-ego outfits. There were: Slutty witches Slutty fairy tale characters Slutty mermaids Slutty nurses and slutty vampires. Oh, which one to dance… Continue reading Phantom of the Halloween Party
Head in the Clouds Harry
They met at the Appalachian Mountain club, an organization for sporting events in Boston. He was athletic looking with a nice smile. Harry asked Margo to go on a short hike with him in New Hampshire. She agreed to drive separately and meet him at the trailhead since she had a dinner to attend that… Continue reading Head in the Clouds Harry
Big Jack, Little Jack
Teaching high school didn’t open up many dating possibilities at work, unless you count the weird science teacher with the orange stick-up hair and the pocket protector, or the short English teacher who did impersonations as well as anyone on Saturday Night Live. One night, as I was complaining that I couldn’t find any good… Continue reading Big Jack, Little Jack
A Double Date?
They met online. Veronica liked his blue eyes, just like her late husband’s. He liked her lean frame and told her so. She enjoyed the morning email exchanges for a couple of weeks. He harassed her for eating at Chick-fil-A since the business had just come out as anti-gay. She was a Southern girl and… Continue reading A Double Date?
Belly-up Beetle
Curtis drove the Volkswagen, 1969 vintage Beetle. Smoking George, his wing man, brought the weed. They’d met their dates at a party. Stacy and Camille went to San Leandro High. Curtis and George went to Castro Valley. Curtis liked Camille. George got Stacy. They all partied at a friend of a friend’s house in Oakland… Continue reading Belly-up Beetle
This Little Piggy
Right after college, I moved to a town with 2000 people and a bunch of pigs — real ones, the kind that grunt and poop and lift the gate latch with their noses. I saw something run past the window of my rented farmhouse. At first I thought it was a deer until I put… Continue reading This Little Piggy
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 