He didn’t seem her type — he was a few pounds overweight but not bad looking. He wore a nice suit in his online photo. He was an architect. He pursued her with photo-likes over a few weeks and text messages, too. Ellen agreed to a phone chat. At least he seems intelligent. He was… Continue reading Three Strikes, You’re Out
Category: firsts
One Flood, Two Fishermen
Kristy and I met at ISU. We had been around the world together, at least to Venezuela where we did our student teaching, plus Ecuador, Peru and Colombia. Now we were roommates in the middle of nowhere, Nebraska. As the story goes, I applied for the third grade teaching job, the principal interviewed me, showed… Continue reading One Flood, Two Fishermen
Marathon Man
She’d tried them all — Match, eharmony, Our Time, Chemistry, Zoosk, Okay Cupid, and Coffee Meets Bagel. She’d had her share of weirdos and had learned to use a fake name, fake town, and a fake place of work. She had been stalked in the past. Now she knew how to do it and be… Continue reading Marathon Man
Too Tired to Boogie
The band room was a freezer. “Vamos a sentarnos en el pasillo, clase.” “What?” “We’ll sit in the hallway today.” It was zero degrees outside. The school district wanted a Spanish class but had no classroom for me. I’d complained a zillion times – when the band teacher held private tuba lessons in his office,… Continue reading Too Tired to Boogie
Phantom of the Halloween Party
Roberto put on his white mask and black cape and headed to WLPJ’s in Walnut Creek for his singles’ club annual Halloween party. Available middle-aged women milled around the bar in their skimpy alter-ego outfits. There were: Slutty witches Slutty fairy tale characters Slutty mermaids Slutty nurses and slutty vampires. Oh, which one to dance… Continue reading Phantom of the Halloween Party
Big Jack, Little Jack
Teaching high school didn’t open up many dating possibilities at work, unless you count the weird science teacher with the orange stick-up hair and the pocket protector, or the short English teacher who did impersonations as well as anyone on Saturday Night Live. One night, as I was complaining that I couldn’t find any good… Continue reading Big Jack, Little Jack
A Double Date?
They met online. Veronica liked his blue eyes, just like her late husband’s. He liked her lean frame and told her so. She enjoyed the morning email exchanges for a couple of weeks. He harassed her for eating at Chick-fil-A since the business had just come out as anti-gay. She was a Southern girl and… Continue reading A Double Date?
The Cat Lady
She seemed normal enough. James met her on the softball diamond — he was playing, shortstop, she played second base. It was a singles club event for Labor Day. He wasn’t an actual member but showed up on the holidays. Beth was sort of cute, her body pretty good for fifty plus. He was also… Continue reading The Cat Lady
Do the Hustle
Guido met Marsha at a famous bar called Rex and Eric’s in Waikiki. He lived locally. She was on vacation. He’d put on his five gold chains, unbuttoned his billowy polyester shirt with the big collar to reveal just enough chest hair, stepped into a pair of black high-waisted pants that hugged his tight butt,… Continue reading Do the Hustle
Why So Many First Worsts
In scrounging around for a first-worst-date story this week (after all, I’ve already done my own dates from Ames, Omaha, and Walnut Creek – how many first-worsts can one person have?), I discovered something. I hate some of my friends, the ones who’ve never had a bad date, ever. First there is Jim, whom I… Continue reading Why So Many First Worsts
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 