(re-run) When my new science teacher announced on the first day of 7th grade that no one would get an A in his class if they didn’t make an insect collection, I was like, “NOOOOOOOO! I hate bugs!” My mother hated bugs. Her mother hated bugs. They hated mice, snakes, and dog poop, too. I… Continue reading How my Bug Collection Changed a Generation
Category: worst
Bad Things that Come in Small Packages
(re-run) They met online on okcupid. The horizontal happened fast. Things were going well, so after six months, Barry gave up his ugly apartment and bought a condo. She moved in right away. Then he started to notice her temper: 1. If the house wasn’t perfectly clean at all times. 2. If his son’s dog… Continue reading Bad Things that Come in Small Packages
A Funeral, an Appendix, and a Dead Concert
(re-run) PK lived in Jersey when her childhood friend’s mum was terminally ill in Boston. Her friend called to say her mother had died, and PK woke up, wanting to go to the funeral and surprise her friend. She felt bad but thought it was the heat. She loaded up her three-year-old daughter and took… Continue reading A Funeral, an Appendix, and a Dead Concert
At Face Value
(re-run) Mark was a good-looking bartender, full of confidence, at an upscale restaurant. He’d say his face was his moneymaker and that you need to use what your mama gave you. Mark went onto Bumble to find a date. He waited until a woman messaged him (that’s how Bumble works). Her photo showed a good-looking… Continue reading At Face Value
DUI Date
(re-run) Lesley was a college freshman at UOP in Stockton when a big football-player-type guy asked her on a date. Lesley had already met his roommate, so she thought she was safe with Chad and said yes. Chad took Lesley to a party, but when his roommate came up to say hi to Lesley, Chad… Continue reading DUI Date
A Non-starter First Date
(re-run) Pat met Celeste when they both worked at Harrah’s in South Lake Tahoe. He took her to Zephyr Cove, to an expensive fancy restaurant with a view. Pat had big hopes for the date since he had a bit of a crush on Celeste. But Celeste flirted with the GQ waiter, a ski patrol… Continue reading A Non-starter First Date
The Bad-date Picnic
(re-run) Laurie graduated college and had boomeranged back home to Seattle. She met a cute guy with horn-rimmed glasses. He invited her on a picnic at the beach. She said yes. “Have fun,” her mom said when Greg came to the house. Greg drove to a sandy spot with a view of the city. They… Continue reading The Bad-date Picnic
Wasabi on a First Date
(re-run) They had the same hair dresser. She was coming in as he was going out. He asked for her phone number. She gave it to her hairdresser to give to him. There aren’t too many eligible men in their seventies, especially one that still had his hair! Garth took Gladys to a nice Japanese… Continue reading Wasabi on a First Date
Spear Fishing, Anyone?
(re-run) Aaron and Katie decided to go spear fishing. He had just bought her a wet suit, and he was looking forward to introducing her to hunting in the ocean. The pair had been to Fort Bragg, where they dived for abalone. This time, Aaron took Katie to Monterey Bay, and they went through the… Continue reading Spear Fishing, Anyone?
The Pilot and the Petite Percussionist
(re-run) He played the trumpet in community college. She played percussion. He was a sophomore; she was a freshman. He was short, she was shorter. He saw her get out of the car every day, with her boyfriend? No, it was just her brother, Jack. George was a pilot. She liked pilots. “Do you want… Continue reading The Pilot and the Petite Percussionist
