Leroy, the Farmer Boy


It was a Saturday night and the dorm floor was deserted. Everyone was off doing something fun. Ellie sat at her desk trying to study Biology 101, but she wasn’t feeling it. A dorm mate burst in and asked her if she wanted to go on a double date right then and there, to a movie and then dinner. The girl’s boyfriend has just driven up to Ames and had a friend along.

Ellie slipped into her cleanest pair of jeans, threw on a blue top that she’d only worn for a couple of hours for the frosh meet and greet, and ran a comb through her thick mane of ash blond hair.

The dorm mate had said the guy was cute. He turned out to be as cute as a button and half as tall. He had on a plaid shirt, Levi’s and cowboy boots. He was a farm boy through and through, and she should know. Her parents’ farm was just outside of Ottumwa.

Ellie was a little bit shy, and Leroy was a whole lot of short. As they stood in line for tickets to see Burt Reynolds in The Longest Yard, she tried chatting about the Cyclones’ football team. But Farm Boy wasn’t interested. He spoke of the upcoming harvest.

It was awkward.

Her dorm mate and her boyfriend spent their time in line playing kissy face, so Ellie was left there to discuss corn futures with Leroy.

She could’ve stayed home and gotten a head start on her biology homework. She could’ve had the dorm bathroom to herself to take a shower and wash her hair. She could’ve called her parents to see how they were getting along with the broken tractor and the recent floods.

After the football movie was over, Ellie feigned a headache and went home. Looking back, she is embarrassed that she didn’t stick it out to the end and go to dinner with the poor guy.

Couldda Wouldda Shouldda

If Ellie would’ve fallen for Leroy, they would’ve carried on their long-distance romance for four years. They would’ve married and moved to his parents’ farm after her graduation from ISU. The dorm mate would’ve been her maid of honor, and she would have been hers in their wedding two years previous. Leroy and Ellie would have four daughters, and the second one would be the corn princess at the local county fair. The third daughter would go on to be an engineer like her mom, and the fourth one would’ve moved to NYC to live with her oldest sister where they would become actresses.

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