Two Days in Paradise

What could be better than a handy woman who can saw, paint, clean, and fix anything? And she comes down to your house with her daughter, and you get a surrogate grandchild for the weekend?

What if your handy woman is strong enough to move couches and love seats from one room to another, and she can climb ladders, trim trees, clean the roof, and fix the broken planter box? What if she brings her own tools?

Now that I am a senior with vertigo and not willing to get up on a tall ladder, it’s great to have someone who will do it for me.

“You have her every week?” my hiker friend asked.

Don’t judge me. You have a husband for your honey-do list. I do not.

“Yes,” I say. “She does whatever I need, digging holes, picking up the dog poo, cleaning the floors, whatever.”

 “But every week?”

Tell me, dear readers, if a week goes by as a home owner where there isn’t some kind of maintenance that needs to be done.

No, she doesn’t cook, but she does do windows, bathrooms, hedges, garbage cans, and fences, etc. etc. She even washes dishes!

She’s a workhorse.

Plus her daughter is the only one I know who can wear out my two dogs, ages three and four.

The daughter pats the big dog’s chest.

“Pepper sounds like a watermelon,” the girl says.

“What are watermelons mostly made of?” I ask.

“Water,” she says.

“What are dogs mostly made of?” I ask.

“Water,” she says. “People, too,”

She is a smart girl.

All in all, it’s a win-win situation. The sun is out, the ocean is azure blue, and the temperature is 70 degrees. It feels like paradise, even if it is only two hours from reality.

The handywoman trimmed the wrong thing — the bottle brush tree instead of the neighbor’s nasty vines hanging over the fence. But that’s okay, I wasn’t home to supervise. I was out spending money at thrift stores, buying chocolate milk for a nine-year old, and getting gas.

Tomorrow it’s back home to a busy week of non-paradise type things, like internet, social media, chorus rehearsals, and Halloween.

It’s 9:30 p.m., and she’s still moving chairs around. I ran out of gas two hours ago.

It’s a curse and a blessing, this Energizer Bunny I know.

And her Energizer Bunny daughter, but she went to bed.

Couldda Wouldda Shouldda

I should’ve found this woman long before I did.



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