The Elusive Dot … Dot … Dot

It takes seven artisans to make a glass of wine — from the grape growers to the vintners to the coopers, etc.  Or so the pitch goes at the small winery in Fairfield. And to draw a crowd, they bring in live music on weekend afternoons.

Brent met a woman online and invited her there for the first date. She was from the Sacramento area, and he was from the Bay Area, so Seven Artisans Winery was a good halfway spot.

She arrived, perfectly dressed, a little bit hippie, and little bit sexy with a peek of cleavage and bare arms. They drank, they danced, and they even had a kiss or two.  After the music stopped, they got into their separate cars and went back to their respective corners of life.

The next day, Brent sent a text.

“I really enjoyed you yesterday.”

She started typing back immediately. He could see the three dots appear on his iphone.

Then the dots went away. She had typed something and then changed her mind and deleted it.

Brent sat there, perplexed.  They’d had fun. She’d had fun.

Then the three dots appeared again.

“I really liked the music.”

Ouch! He’d just told her something personal. She’d come back with something noncommittal.

Then she typed the relationship line of death.

“I didn’t feel that elusive chemistry.”

Dang? Was there a book for women somewhere called that? He’d heard that before.

“Of course you didn’t feel it! It’s elusive!”he wanted to type back. But he didn’t.

What’s wrong with women? You can’t catch a rainbow! We had fun! We danced and kissed!


Brent has been known to ask women breaking up with him for exit interviews.

“Don’t come on so strong.”

“You’re great, but slow down.”

“That elusive chemistry just isn’t there.”

Brent thinks his expectations might be too high. He projects the future onto his first dates. He can’t slow down and live in the moment. He is always planning ahead.

At his age, late sixties, maybe he thinks he is running out of time.  But there is no need to hurry up and get married; plus he already has two great kids.

Couldda Wouldda Shouldda

Slow down, Brent!  Don’t text the next day. Let her miss you first and think about those kisses.  Let her wonder if you’ll try for a second date.

Play a little hard to get.

This advice is coming from a woman.




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