How to Self-quarantine in California

The Corona virus Covid-19 is upon us.  We need to practice social distancing, especially if we are old.

I am doing my darnedest to distance myself.

My plan today was to be at Costco at 9:00 a.m. to get a few things.  100 people beat me to it. I saw the line at the door and went home.

I thought about a stop at my favorite thrift store. I decided against it.

I did go to the drive-thru window at the bank to deposit two checks. I touched the screen with my left-hand pinky and promised myself not to suck on it on the way home.

I mailed my tax forms, once again, by pulling up to the drive-through mail box.

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could do drive-through for everything? And no germy people at the window. This is the time for robots, the kinds that spray themselves every five minutes with a bath of germ-killing alcohol.

Need a Wendy’s Frosty? Robot.

Need a head of lettuce? Robot.

Starbucks? Robot.

Need some hand-sanitizer? Robot with a sad face because everyone is out of it, even robots.

Toilet paper? Just start rationing those squares.

Food?  Eat all that freezer-burned stuff in the back of the freezer and those expired canned goods. At least you have them to eat. Some people have nothing. NOTHING!

That’s why they are in line at Costco at 9:00 a.m. on a Thursday morning.

The world has gone mad.  But being outside is supposed to be okay, as long as you bump elbows with acquaintances, no hand-shaking.

And chorus? 130 of us in a ballroom sitting 3 to 6 feet apart? The one guy singing off key won’t be able to hide. We will know which nine-square-foot area that off sound is coming from.

It’s the public bathrooms that scare me the most. All those chrome surfaces that have been touched by others. That’s where the problems lie.

Staying home is not an option when you have a concert to get ready for. But the guy who just got off an airplane yesterday? I can’t sit by that guy. Please don’t make me sit by that guy.

The mayors of at least two cities (LA and Seattle) have said that if we don’t all do our part, Grandpa is going to die. The virus hits older people harder.  As if we didn’t have enough other stuff to worry about. Like our 401 K which we need on a monthly basis.

The virus has everybody on edge, as it should. The folks joking about it last week in Iowa have stopped joking. It wasn’t too close to home for them, but now suddenly, it is. Colleges are shutting down across the country. Talk about a cesspool of germs. That would be any college dorm bathroom scenario.

Social distancing wasn’t en vogue until this past Tuesday when the county said so, although some of us have been practicing it for longer. That’s what happens when you have two scientist children and a sister in a nursing home situation.

My new pastimes are:

  1. Cleaning out drawers and cabinets ( I found $80.00!)
  2. Throwing out calendars from 2018.
  3. Working on my writing.
  4. Making new blog posts.
  5. Stopping my exercise classes (canceled anyway) and going for walks outside.
  6. Watching lots of movies.
  7. Waving to the neighbors.
  8. Counting the avocados and bananas and wondering if Costco will be any better tomorrow.

I doubt it.

Time to find a regular old grocery store.

With self-checkout.

Or a robot.





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