A Tongue Twister

Donna met a guy named George through a group of friends.  She was about to have open heart surgery, so she didn’t feel much like flirting. George was average looking but persistent. He kept texting her before and after the surgery.  She thought he was into her, but then he insisted that she call him. Donna wasn’t up for talking on the phone. He stopped contacting her.

Six months later George texted her again. Do you want to get together?

Sure. Where?

They met for lunch at Revel in downtown Danville. He came down from Sonoma, and he’d dressed up in a sport coat. They had a pleasant lunch.  While they were sitting there contemplating dessert, his phone rang.

“Yes dear. Okay, see you soon.”

Donna knew it before he said it.

“I’m married. Does that bother you?”

Donna felt that explained a lot, the texting, the phone call stating where to meet. He hadn’t wanted that in writing. She nodded her head, hurt and a little confused.

“I brought you a bottle of wine,” George said, “to celebrate your successful surgery. Walk me to my car so I can give it to you.”

Donna thought that sounded a little like, “Do you want to see my etchings?”

Or Mae West’s famous come-on line, “Come up for a drink sometime.”

But it was daytime, so what could he do?

At the car, George made his move.

“You are very beautiful,” he said. “I’d like to see you again.”

Donna knew the kiss was coming. He was married, but he had been nice and told her so.  She would accept his kiss and then get out of there.  But she didn’t expect to kiss a lizard. He came at her with his tongue out.

Ew!  She turned her head away. George tried again but this time he kept his tongue in his mouth for a moment, then thrust it back into her mouth after their lips touched. She took the bottle of wine and said good-bye.

Two days later, George texted her again. You’re wonderful. Can we get together again?

No, she texted back. Then she blocked his number.

She hopes to never see him again.

Couldda Wouldda Shouldda

Donna should’ve declined the bottle of wine and avoided the whole awkward kiss at the George’s car.






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