Worst Mom Ever

A mother has to choose her words and actions carefully, for eighteen years! The mom of three adults, I still hear about the horrible things I said and the awful things I did to them as children.
Oldest daughter, as a teen, with her dad’s dark heavy eyebrows —
What I said to her — “You might want to pluck them.”
What she heard –“You look like Groucho Marx.”
Youngest daughter, about ten, too busy to stop playing to come downstairs and eat a hot brownie out of the oven —
What I said — “Come have a brownie.”
What she said — “Just a minute.”
What I heard –“She doesn’t want any.”
Two hours later, when she finally came downstairs, “Where’s my brownie?”
“Oops, I guess I ate it.”
That’s the last time I made a pan of brownies.
My son in third grade –
What he said — “I don’t like baseball. I don’t want to go to practice. I don’t want to go to my game.”
What I heard — “Take me out of baseball.”
So in fourth grade, I didn’t sign him up again.
What he said to everyone for years to come — “Mom made me quit baseball.”
And lastly, the scariest moment of all, when the oldest child went missing at the San Francisco zoo for ten minutes before closing time, and I ran around screaming her name, sure she had been kidnapped, and then we found her at the exit –she thinking we had left without her — and that moment when she ran into my arms and we both cried, that’s what being a mother is.
No matter what you do or say, it will come back to bite you in the butt. So choose your words and actions carefully.
They never forget a thing.

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