FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER!

• You have four library books on hold at your local branch, but all libraries are closed.
• The gray stripe at your scalp is showing.
• You discover toilet paper in the back of your closet and get really excited.
• You start counting your avocados.
• You take time to comment on ALL of the Facebook posts you read.
• You look at your watch and think, Wow, it’s only 10:00 a.m.?
• You do the Body Coach PE workout for kids because the guy is cute, and it gets you moving.
• Your dogs follow you from room to room all day long.
• Your chiropractic massage gets canceled and you wonder how you will get through the tinnitus.
• You worry about summer dancing venues and if there will be any.
• You get a loud intermittent buzz on your cell phone on Saturday morning reminding you to shelter in place.
• You call 9-1-1 about something on the driveway your dog is barking at, at 4:00 a.m., and the dispatcher asks you if you have a cough or a fever.
• You look forward to a twenty-year-old DVD for your Saturday night entertainment.
• The gray stripe on your scalp is getting wider by the day.
• You approach the double ATM machine at the same time as an older woman, and you turn your back to her as you have a conversation.
• You notice sneeze guards in the grocery store for the checkers and blue tape on the floor for the customers.
• It takes five times as long to check out as it does to select what’s left on the store shelves.
• You look forward to breaking up your day with a one-hour session of cleaning the garage.
• You step in dog poop and take the time to clean if off your shoe instead of swearing and changing into other shoes.
• Gray stripe on scalp.
• The roads are deserted.
• You cut down that ugly tree that you’ve always talked about cutting down.
• You forget to put on make-up and then think, what does it matter?
• You reframe that piece of art you’ve been talking about reframing.
• You clean out the inside of your car.
• You wash windows on your car and your house.
• Stripe on scalp.
• You turn OFF the news because it is all too much to handle.
• You have a virtual wine tasting with a dozen girlfriends even though
• You walk into a spider web and feel it in your hair and see the spider in the corner of the door frame running away from your gray stripe.
• You have time to write silly blog posts for your own enjoyment.

In order to get to 500 words, let me say that I hope you are all having as much fun as I am during this mandatory shelter in place.