I managed to avoid COVID for more than two years, but it got me during a weekend of chorus performances. The director wanted us to sing maskless and asked each of us to do a COVID test the morning of our first performance so that we would all feel comfortable about it. A few older women wore their masks. The rest of us took them off, even though many of us are senior citizens.
The next day one of the younger chorus members came down with COVID, probably having been exposed somewhere else. I put my mask on to sing once I heard, but it wasn’t an N-95. It’s too hard getting a breath to sing with those on.
By the third performance, others had come down with COVID, and we knew we were toast. When all was said and done, a few ladies in the back row avoided getting it, along with two very short women in the front row. The rest of us stood in a fog of COVID-y air, breathing in and out together on every song.
It’s been more than a month since I had COVID. I realized that I don’t need a mask to shop right now, not until the next variant comes along. I went naked face to three thrift stores in my beach town. The first shop is only open on Saturdays, so it was very busy. I made a big pile and spent only $13.50. I spoke with the door bouncer, the two clerks behind the counter and one of the shoppers.
I went to the next thrift store and bought 12 DVD tapes for a total of only $8.90. It was half-off day. I got into my car and looked into the rear-view mirror to see if I needed to add some lipstick to my pale face. And then I saw it. . .
. . . a dried-up booger just inside my nose. I’d been chatting with folks with a hanging booger. I was Booger Woman.
As many bad things as one can say about having to wear a mask, it does save you from being booger woman. If said booger is hanging from a nostril with mask on, no one would ever know it.
Maybe I’ll go back to wearing a mask again, just in case.
As an aside to my story, I did find one benefit from having COVID. My left nostril (booger nostril) has been plugged up for five years, ever since my incompetent dentist told me my upper molar was fine. And not cracked under the crown. After three months of feeling very sick and finding it hard to breathe, I woke up one morning with a huge lump near my mouth. My gum had exploded from the infection. The dentist prescribed antibiotics and sent me to a specialist to save my tooth under the crown. The tooth was broken and couldn’t be saved.
Those sinuses were blocked up because of the 90-day delay in treatment.
COVID unblocked that nostril. And that’s why I had a hanging booger.
The Booger Woman of Monterey County.
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 