Butt Text Emojis and Other Stuff


You’ve got to help out us Boomers. We try to be cool and stay relevant, but it’s hard, you know, since we grew up in different times.

Our thumbs won’t be arthritic by the time we’re old. We know this because we’re already there, and our thumbs are fine. I did strain the third finger on my left hand somehow. I think it happened the day I got into the social distancing line at the store with no shopping cart. That bag of dog food in my left hand was heavy.

But I digress.

Today one of my adult offspring sent me an emoji of a winking face. Then she explained that it was a butt emoji. Hey, I watch Ellen, and she seems to up on her emojis, but I had to ask why a butt text emoji is represented by a winking face. What am I missing?

While I wait for her to explain, let me go on to the next issue I had this week with being a Boomer. My younger and more savvy Boomer friend told me that I could see how many Covid-19 cases there are in our town by going to the county website and clicking through.

I went to the website and didn’t know what she meant by clicking through and couldn’t find our town and the Covid count.  She sent me a screen shot, but that didn’t teach me how to get there.

I asked her how to do it and am still waiting for her response.

That’s the thing, folks. If you do it for me, I won’t learn anything. I am not too old to learn stuff. Just show me how to do it, and I will never have to ask you again for help with that particular issue.

I don’t know as much as my Millennial children, and maybe not as much as some of my Boomer friends, but I do know a lot more than my older friends in their 70’s.  It’s all relative, folks.

I don’t want to become a dinosaur. I need to keep up in basic ways. Like knowing how to click through (and knowing what that means), plus knowing what emojis stand for.

Eggplant emoji, for example — it’s a sexual thing, I gleaned from Ellen, but now I will Google it to be sure. Okay, done and done. I’ve learned something new today about peaches.

I am still waiting to hear from child and friend to educate me on those two other things. It could be a long wait. Not everyone has the patience to explain things to me.

An older friend called one day and said she was Marie Kondo-ing her house. When I asked her what that meant, she said, “Look it up.”

I did, and now I know who Marie Kondo is. But it would’ve been nicer if she would’ve just answered my question.  She didn’t have the patience to explain. I would’ve known immediately —  oh, the gal who wants your stuff to spark joy.

But she wouldn’t tell me.

When older people ask me to help them with techno stuff, I will share it if I know it. I don’t try to humiliate anyone, because friends have done that to me and it doesn’t feel good.

We’re all doing the best that we can. Our techno levels are varied. Don’t be a jerk when an older person asks for some coaching.

We want to be in on the joke, too.


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