It’s All About the Bacon

I grew up in Iowa, and I’ve always loved a BLT, but now that I’m living in California, it has to be a BLTA, with avocado. Of my three kids, none of them eats pork anymore. One eats poultry and fish, one eats fish, and one is a true vegetarian.  No vegans, though. They all love cheese.

The last time I made a plate of bacon for a holiday breakfast, it was empty in a flash, thanks to one son-in-law and one offspring who has since given up on meat. That was 2019.

Fake meat is all the rage now at my house. The Beyond Burger comes frozen at Costco, eight patties for $14.00. That’s a better deal than ordering an Impossible burger in a restaurant for $16.00, but sometimes you have to have the side of perfect crispy French fries that only a restaurant can supply.

Another brand of plant-based fake meat is Incogmeato. I like that name the best. The three brands all imitate the taste of meat, but without that ugly aftertaste (if you’ve given up beef and then have a real burger, you will taste it).

Today I read in the Sunday Chronicle that California has a new animal welfare proposition that requires farm animals to be raised in more humane ways.  Most of California’s bacon is imported, mostly from Iowa.  96% of American pork farmers do not yet comply with the restrictions of the new California law. Non-compliant meat will not be allowed into California.

Are you catching on? Buying and ordering bacon in California is about to get real competitive.  Prices will rise, and restaurants and grocery stores will run out of product. It will make the big toilet-paper-hoarding event of 2020 look like small potatoes.

In a world of Covid 19, the delta variant, death, murder, assault rifles, voter suppression laws, a broken congress and climate change, this might seem like a big squeal (I mean a big deal). But it will be a very big deal to the bacon lovers of the world, at least the bacon lovers of California.

I order a turkey club sandwich on weekly lunches out with my kids. I eat half the sandwich and wrap up the other half to take home for the next day. The next day I throw away the bread and give the bacon to my dogs, adding the rest of the leftover-half sandwich to my daily salad. My stomach is happy, my dogs are happy, everyone is happy.

Will they take my turkey club sandwich off the menu? I eat at Brass Bear deli and The Growler. Or will the $13.00 sandwich become a $16.00 sandwich? These are first world problems, to be sure.

Hey, Iowa pig farmers, you are rolling in the bacon. So why not make the pig pens a little more spacious?  Let the pigs out of their crates, already. Yes, they will become food, but in the meantime, treat them better. 

I read somewhere that 100 years from now, no one will be eating meat, and it will be considered barbaric. I don’t know about that.  A BLT is a hard habit to break. Nothing tastes better, especially with avocado.

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