I have two stalkers. One of my stalkers is a homeless guy who disappeared eight years ago and has now reappeared. He calls. He shows up. He asks for work. He asks for money.
I told him my situation has changed from eight years ago. My sister is now in my care. She just reached the doughnut hole in Medicare, meaning her drugs won’t be covered for the rest of the calendar year.
He asked again for a loan.
“Didn’t you hear me?” I said. “Ten prescriptions not covered.”
“You don’t have to pay for that, you know,” he said.
I held my breath. I didn’t want to say that I’d much rather pay for my sister’s drugs than loan him $1000.
He asked to work around my house.
“I don’t think my handy woman would like that,” I said.
What I wanted to say was, you can’t disappear for eight years and expect to get your job back.
The other stalker is on Facebook. I know him, but I never see him. He picks apart my posts, lately about me bashing old white guys. He is an old white guy. I am an old white woman. A post about diversity is not white bashing. Why would I bash myself, anyway?
I could un-friend him. He could un-friend me. So far it is a game of chicken. Who will be the first to un-friend the other? He shares a lot of my witty posts. He is a smart guy. We are political opposites, and we both know it. But this white male bashing thing, I mean, come on!
The country is more diverse than ever. Celebrate diversity! Let everyone have a seat at the table. The table used to be all white guys sitting at it. Now we have women, gays, Muslims, even vegans!
I say it’s about time. The old white guys running congress (and the White House) are out of touch with the rest of America. If they are in their 80’s, it might be too late for them to grasp that concept.
Step down already. Or maybe we will help you next fall.
As for the stalkers, I have it handled.
Nobody gets to push this old lady around.
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 