Two weeks ago, a plumber came over, crawled under the house, tried to sell me new pipes for the entire house and an overpriced water heater, then left without closing up the trap door in my master bedroom closet.
When I discovered the open hole a few hours later, I was sure a rat had gotten into the house. When I heard rustling in the corner of the master bedroom two nights later, I slept in my daughter’s bedroom. The next day I ripped apart the master bedroom, looking for the unwanted visitor.
Here I was, two weeks later, looking for the misplaced mailbox key, ripping apart the house so I can go outside and get the mail. What did I find cowering behind a dog gate? Not a rat, but an alligator lizard, which has been hanging out in a house with THREE dogs, for two weeks.
I couldn’t get him to move toward the front door. He dropped down into the sunken dining room and I thought I’d never get him out a door. Then I realized the door to the garage would work. Getting him into the garage was better than having him inside the house.
The guy was big, maybe a foot long with that squiggly tail. Every time he was on the move, I was screaming. I chased him with a hand vacuum cleaner actually thinking I could vacuum him up. Not this big boy! But he didn’t like the suction and he kept moving away from the vacuum. I t was so hot today that I wore sandals after the dog walk. Would he bite my toes?
I finally figured out how to herd him toward the garage door which I had propped open. As soon as his long tail was seen slithering over the threshold, I shut and LOCKED the door. How silly of me, as though he could open doors and come back in.
The guy has been in my house for TWO weeks. He might’ve been in the bedrooms while we were sleeping. The dogs were clueless, never noticed him. Had he been drinking out of the dog water bowls? Had he been eating the bugs that seem to be in every corner of the house?
I have to say that I’m not glad that I have misplaced the mailbox key, but I am glad that I discovered the lizard and got him out of here.
I’m glad the dogs were oblivious. I’ve heard alligator lizards have a nasty bite.
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 