There is a little book series out there called Porn for Women. It has shirtless men doing exciting things that turn on a typical woman, like vacuuming, doing dishes, and changing diapers. Why? Because a woman’s mind works differently than a man’s.
A man sees a woman on the Victoria’s Secret commercial and is ready to go. I’ll never forget the first time the angel commercial came on the big screen TV, and my pre-adolescent son was frozen in his tracks until the commercial ended. Men are visual beings.
A woman sees the same commercial and compares herself to those models – I am fat, I need to lose weight, my skin doesn’t glisten like that, my underwear is ugly. This is not a turn-on for a woman, although the Magic Mike movie is a start.
A man hears a woman whisper anything in his ear, and he’s ready to go.
A woman needs to hear, “I will wash your car tomorrow, paint the house trim, and get take-out for supper,” and she’s ready.
A man smells a woman’s perfume, and he’s ready to go.
A woman smells a clean dog, hair-washed kids (by Dad), and a delicious meal that she didn’t have to cook, and she’s ready.
A man feels a light touch on his arm, and he’s ready to go.
A woman needs a full hour massage near an open window on a sandy beach, and she’s ready.
A man tastes the salt on the back of his woman’s neck, and he’s ready to go.
A woman tastes expensive champagne, pricey hors d’oeuvres, and a bowl of fresh strawberries dipped in white chocolate, and she’s ready.
All kidding aside, it takes longer for a woman to get in the mood than it takes a man: six seconds for a man and six hours for a woman, especially if she’s been a mom all day.
So keep that in mind, fellas, the next time you blow off the parent-teacher conference you promised to attend or you miss the couples’ dance lesson or you complain about the dinner she made you. If you think you were going to get lucky later that night, think again.
A man needs a warm body.
A woman needs a slow burn, a harmonious day, and an attentive man.
That is the ultimate porn for women.
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 