FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER!

Decades ago, when I was the mother of a two-year-old girl and hugely pregnant with another child, our little family took a Sunday drive down to Dublin to visit the toy store. I was lost in a world of motherhood, tolerating acid-inducing fetal kicks and not paying attention to what was happening outside of our gold Jeep with Eddie Bauer finishes.

My husband at the time got his ego bruised when another car cut us off. Husband pulled up to said car at the stoplight and flipped off the driver, as in, gave him the finger, the U.S. way to say F&8$ you. We were from the Midwest. The middle finger was a universally-used gesture.

Hubby turned left into the toy store parking lot and soon we had the guy he had flipped off following right behind us, squealing his tires and acting all macho aggressive. Hubby pulled into the mostly-empty parking lot (toy store was just opening for the day). We got out of the car and headed toward the store. Macho guy got out of his car, swearing a blue streak at my husband.

Here I was, my fetus sticking out in front of me, my two-year-old holding my hand.

“Don’t say anything!” I chided Hubby as we listened to the tirade behind us and we reached the store’s double door.

I opened it up and slipped inside with my two babies, hoping Hubby would leave it alone and follow me inside.

He did. I don’t think he wanted a fist fight any more than I did, not in front of his daughter. He was a meek accountant with soft white-collar hands. I had more callouses than he did.

Why did I think of this today, something that happened nearly 34 years ago?  It was a stream-of-consciousness thing as I drove to Lucky’s for the Sunday Chronicle newspaper. I was thinking about the rising violent crime in the Bay Area, how I needed to go to Costco and how two men got into a fight in the parking lot over a parking space a few weeks back on a Sunday. The name-calling escalated until the older man, who sought out the offending driver, drove past his parking spot and more words were exchanged. Older man got out of his vehicle and younger man pummeled him until some bystander called the cops.

With sirens blaring the younger man took off, leaving the older guy on the ground, hurt enough for a trip to the ICU. No charges were filed against the younger man because the videos showed that the older man helped in escalating the situation.

Male egos caused it all. Women can be catty, but men can be grunting, hunched-over cave men when it comes to their egos.

My ex-husband would’ve lost the fight in the Toys ‘R’ Us parking lot. The other guy was ripped with a huge chest and forearms, no accountant there. When he saw my huge belly and our little girl, he backed off.

We saved my ex-husband’s ass that day — me, my toddler and in-utero child, when Macho Man realized he was about to pummel a husband and father.

P.S. This is an internet photo, not the actual guys in either fight.