FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER!

On another day of reflection, I’m wondering how I lost track of two dear friends, one from high school, the other from college. I was maid of honor in the bridesmaid line-up at each of their weddings.  I’m still wondering how that ever could’ve happened, looking back over the past forty years.

I got married, moved to California, and had kids.  When you’re married and have kids, plus you live half a country away, it’s easy to lose track of friends. You mostly need people who are within arm’s length.  Oh, I went back and visit, but it’s hard to please the relatives (your mom), plus your spouse (not supportive) and your kids while also trying to visit old friends.  It became easier to just see those who were close by and would come to where I was, instead of me having to travel again to see them.

I did get in a visit or two, some in Des Moines, just once in Ames, but it’s hard to recreate those days gone by. Those friends can only tolerate photos of your kids for so long when they can’t reciprocate with their own photos. Neither one of them became mothers. Both of them got divorced. One remarried, became a widow, and married again.

Another dear friend from grade school is the one I see whenever I go back. She knocked on my front door when she was three and asked for someone to play with. My mother pushed me out the door, and I followed her home, two houses up the block, and wore down her red crayon. She must’ve gotten over it, because she was maid of honor in my wedding. She never married or had children.

But I digress.  Back to the friends who had me as maid of honor in their weddings.  I recently found both of them on Facebook, and even though it’s late, I enjoy seeing them and their posts. I wrote to the one who doesn’t come around much online. She asked me how to get published. I explained how I got started. In the end, she gave up, too much work.

I get it. If I tried to get published now for the first time, it would seem daunting. Most houses no longer take unsolicited manuscripts. Today I can’t get much past my agent, the gate keeper to the editors.  I’m happy to say that the first dozen or so manuscripts of mine were un-agented. I managed to sneak past those unsecured gates and get read and bought off the slush pile.

Now I’m really getting offtrack.  The point is this, we’re all human, friends come and go, very few stay forever (this is from someone who lives 1500 miles away from her home town), and it’s good to see familiar faces online, even if we can’t get back to where we were, oh, so many years ago.

This is for all of you who came into my life and shared part of it with me.  I might not have weekly chats with any of you (or monthly or yearly), but Facebook has helped me keep up with what is going on with you. If you call me, I might not be able to pick up. Life goes on. We’re all busy.

Just know that I love you all.