The Darwin Awards


The world is insane.

A snowstorm is predicted for the East Coast. It’s Mother’s Day weekend.

The local news station reported that scientists may take llama antibodies for Covid-19 and give them to humans to see if it would help with immunity. Does that mean the humans might start spitting when they are angry?

The president’s valet now has Covid-19.

Amazon sends emails when it has saved your fifteen cents on your book pre-order.

Is nothing normal anymore?

Snow in May, llama antibodies, Covid-19 in the White House, and Jeff Bezos is giving me back a dime and a nickel.

Yesterday, at my annual exam with my gynecologist, I learned a few things:

  1. She doesn’t take Medicare (boo hoo).
  2. She says some senior women put estrogen cream on their faces to help their wrinkles.
  3. She says Darwin is having a field day with all these people ignoring safety precautions like not wearing masks and not social distancing. As for the protestors, she says they will get the virus, and it will be survival of the fittest.

It was a long appointment, maybe because of the social distancing? I didn’t see anyone else in the office but me, the nurse, the doctor, and the receptionist.

We talked for almost an hour. I will miss her if I go to my primary care doctor, as she has suggested. Maybe I’ll just pay the extra money so I can keep seeing her.

But I digress.

Annual events are being canceled all over the world. Somehow my friends think there will still be summer dancing to live music in the local parks.  I don’t think it’s going to happen, and even if it did, would I go?

I love live music. I love to dance. As a girlfriend said yesterday, her legs aren’t as toned as they usually are. We haven’t danced in weeks, going on months.

The world is upside-down.  People are fighting to go back to work, even though it will put them at risk.  Meat–packing plants across the nation are hot spots for the virus. The supply chain is broken.

Farmers have hogs and cattle they can’t take to market, since the packing plants had to be shut down and cleaned. I’ve read about Meatless May. I’ve heard talk of drowning the hogs and bulldozing the chickens.

Then I heard that the farmers are cutting out the middle man and selling meat to the customers directly. A side of beef anyone? Do you have a large freezer?

There are so many things to worry about — just spin the wheel and pick one. Your parents? Your children? Your pantry?  Your job? Your 401K? Your dating life?

I’m glad to be the age that I am, a retired person with kids out of college, not stuck somewhere out of the country, not in the middle of a kitchen remodel, not a major caregiver for my sister, not a retail shop owner.  I’ve worn those hats, but not in 2020, thank goodness.

They just announced on the news that the NFL season will start on schedule, with only 15,000 fans in a stadium for 60,000.

Baby steps.

Darwin Awards. Survival of the fittest.

Llama antibodies, snow storms in May, fifteen cents back from Amazon.

It’s a weird, weird world.

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