I is for Idiots (and Geniuses)

It seems that people these days don’t know how to do much except play games on their phones and do things with technology.  The old-fashioned stuff that seniors know how to do is lost on the younger people.

Everyone should know how to:

  1. Fry a pound of bacon.
  2. Make an omelet.
  3. Make a grilled cheese sandwich.
  4. Make a smoothie.
  5. Write a thank you note.
  6. Write a sympathy card.
  7. Clean the shower.
  8. Shop using a grocery list.
  9. Change a diaper.
  10. Hang a picture.
  11. Make a bed.
  12. Know your times tables.
  13. Measure a room and figure out the square feet.
  14. Change a light bulb.
  15. Paint a wall.
  16. Set a table for six.
  17. Clean a toilet.
  18. Parallel park a car.
  19. Back up on a long driveway.
  20. Make change at a cash register.
  21. Pack a bag of groceries.
  22. Wrap up breakable items to ship.
  23. Mail a letter.
  24. Pack an apartment.
  25. Find insurance.
  26. Renew a driver’s license.
  27. Build a fire in the fireplace.
  28. Read a map.
  29. Sweep the floor.
  30. Make a cup of tea.
  31. Wrap a present.
  32. Buy a tank of gas.

That is just the basics. After these things are accomplished, it would be great if the average person could also:

  1. Back up a truck.
  2. Use a turn signal.
  3. Change lanes on the freeway.
  4. Merge into traffic.
  5. Tell someone to go ahead of you in line.
  6. Thank someone for a compliment.
  7. Give a compliment.
  8. Do a load of laundry (whites).
  9. Do a load of laundry (colors).
  10. Clean out the fridge.
  11. Drive somewhere new without GPS.
  12. Hang up something to dry.
  13. Get your mail forwarded.
  14. Rake a yard and fill a green can.
  15. Hook up a TV to cable.
  16. Wash a car at a self-service car wash.
  17. Bake a cake.
  18. Make a pie.
  19. Make lasagna.
  20. Spell lasagna.
  21. Burp a baby.
  22. Walk a dog.
  23. Plan a party.
  24. Wash windows.
  25. Start and maintain a compost bin.
  26. Shop for a gift.
  27. Figure 30% off in your head.
  28. Keep a receipt bag or box.
  29. Take a photo (with no garbage cans in background).
  30. Braid long hair.
  31. Frame a picture.
  32. Get stains out of clothing.

The super geniuses of the world would also be able to do these things:

  1. Host a dinner party.
  2. Know when to stop drinking if you are the driver.
  3. Learn how to do the waltz, cha cha, and East Coast swing.
  4. Plan a budget.
  5. Save money.
  6. Shop at thrift stores.
  7. Find your own style instead of following the trends.
  8. Surround yourself with positive people.
  9. Write a book.
  10. Paint a painting.
  11. Keep a routine regarding: exercise, meals, sleep.
  12. Live in the moment.
  13. Start conversations with strangers.
  14. Multi-task.
  15. Trust your gut.
  16. Regarding doctors, get a second opinion.
  17. Wash your hands when you get home from anywhere.
  18. Give yourself a break.
  19. Step out of your comfort zone.
  20. Know your limitations.
  21. Don’t wear stilettos (trust me on this one).
  22. Wear a hat when in the sun (you will thank me later).
  23. Not everything has to spark joy, so keep broom, dust pan, vacuum cleaner, mop, toilet brush.
  24. Don’t date a cheater (but do date a bald guy).
  25. Don’t try to change your partner.
  26. Quirky doesn’t mean wrong.
  27. Start a conversation with someone who doesn’t look like you do.
  28. Dance with the short guys.
  29. Diffuse a tense situation with a smile.
  30. Always use your age to your advantage.
  31. Challenge everything you find wrong.
  32. Have friends from every generation.

 

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