I is for Idiots (and Geniuses)

Posted in attitude, bacon, best, California, family, generation, genius, humor, idiot, quirky

It seems that people these days don’t know how to do much except play games on their phones and do things with technology.  The old-fashioned stuff that seniors know how to do is lost on the younger people.

Everyone should know how to:

  1. Fry a pound of bacon.
  2. Make an omelet.
  3. Make a grilled cheese sandwich.
  4. Make a smoothie.
  5. Write a thank you note.
  6. Write a sympathy card.
  7. Clean the shower.
  8. Shop using a grocery list.
  9. Change a diaper.
  10. Hang a picture.
  11. Make a bed.
  12. Know your times tables.
  13. Measure a room and figure out the square feet.
  14. Change a light bulb.
  15. Paint a wall.
  16. Set a table for six.
  17. Clean a toilet.
  18. Parallel park a car.
  19. Back up on a long driveway.
  20. Make change at a cash register.
  21. Pack a bag of groceries.
  22. Wrap up breakable items to ship.
  23. Mail a letter.
  24. Pack an apartment.
  25. Find insurance.
  26. Renew a driver’s license.
  27. Build a fire in the fireplace.
  28. Read a map.
  29. Sweep the floor.
  30. Make a cup of tea.
  31. Wrap a present.
  32. Buy a tank of gas.

That is just the basics. After these things are accomplished, it would be great if the average person could also:

  1. Back up a truck.
  2. Use a turn signal.
  3. Change lanes on the freeway.
  4. Merge into traffic.
  5. Tell someone to go ahead of you in line.
  6. Thank someone for a compliment.
  7. Give a compliment.
  8. Do a load of laundry (whites).
  9. Do a load of laundry (colors).
  10. Clean out the fridge.
  11. Drive somewhere new without GPS.
  12. Hang up something to dry.
  13. Get your mail forwarded.
  14. Rake a yard and fill a green can.
  15. Hook up a TV to cable.
  16. Wash a car at a self-service car wash.
  17. Bake a cake.
  18. Make a pie.
  19. Make lasagna.
  20. Spell lasagna.
  21. Burp a baby.
  22. Walk a dog.
  23. Plan a party.
  24. Wash windows.
  25. Start and maintain a compost bin.
  26. Shop for a gift.
  27. Figure 30% off in your head.
  28. Keep a receipt bag or box.
  29. Take a photo (with no garbage cans in background).
  30. Braid long hair.
  31. Frame a picture.
  32. Get stains out of clothing.

The super geniuses of the world would also be able to do these things:

  1. Host a dinner party.
  2. Know when to stop drinking if you are the driver.
  3. Learn how to do the waltz, cha cha, and East Coast swing.
  4. Plan a budget.
  5. Save money.
  6. Shop at thrift stores.
  7. Find your own style instead of following the trends.
  8. Surround yourself with positive people.
  9. Write a book.
  10. Paint a painting.
  11. Keep a routine regarding: exercise, meals, sleep.
  12. Live in the moment.
  13. Start conversations with strangers.
  14. Multi-task.
  15. Trust your gut.
  16. Regarding doctors, get a second opinion.
  17. Wash your hands when you get home from anywhere.
  18. Give yourself a break.
  19. Step out of your comfort zone.
  20. Know your limitations.
  21. Don’t wear stilettos (trust me on this one).
  22. Wear a hat when in the sun (you will thank me later).
  23. Not everything has to spark joy, so keep broom, dust pan, vacuum cleaner, mop, toilet brush.
  24. Don’t date a cheater (but do date a bald guy).
  25. Don’t try to change your partner.
  26. Quirky doesn’t mean wrong.
  27. Start a conversation with someone who doesn’t look like you do.
  28. Dance with the short guys.
  29. Diffuse a tense situation with a smile.
  30. Always use your age to your advantage.
  31. Challenge everything you find wrong.
  32. Have friends from every generation.

 

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