(re-run)
A friend lost his younger sister to cancer last week. I lost my older sister in December to a myriad of health issues. Grieving is a process. It doesn’t end all at once. It comes and goes. At least I’m not crying anymore.
When a hummingbird gets in my face or flies close to me when I’m in my front or back yards, I say, “Hi, Barb.”
I told a relative that, and she laughed at me. Not everyone is spiritual, I guess. I like to think that nature/the universe/ heaven/whatever is sending me a message. Barb’s spirit is still around even though her ashes are buried in Iowa, 1500 miles away.
To that relative, I have to say, Wow! Have you never had a moment so profound that you know there are greater forces at work than just yourself? Have you never traveled to a foreign land, hiked a national forest or seen an ocean that didn’t stop you in your tracks and get you to inhale that moment and stamp it forever into your brain? It’s hard to be at one with nature when you are distracted by the noise of the world, such as always looking at your phone.
On my daily dog walk, it’s me, the dog and the asphalt path, my mind free to wander and form new ideas, to reflect on last night’s events or to look forward to something happening tomorrow. Some days it’s my body calling attention to where every little pain and ache reside. At any rate, I’m not reading posts or watching videos. I am walking, a skill I no longer take for granted. Moving my body is a joy, even if somedays I have to will it up the hill.
I’ve stood at the top of the Pyramids of the Sun and Moon in Mexico. I’ve looked down from Huayna Picchu in Peru, pretty good for someone afraid of heights. I’ve stared at cumulus clouds out of airplane windows. I’ve stood on the beach and contemplated the mighty Pacific waves.
It’s the same feeling (I would guess) that people have when they are snorkeling, SCUBA diving, bungee jumping or parachuting out of airplanes (I’ve done none of these things). But I remember my fear on the back of a galloping horse over which I had no control, or standing on a cliff and feeling off balance until some unknown force pulled me back to safety.
Those moments become burned into my memory because they are the closest that I’ve ever been to having a religious experience, where I knew there were forces at play greater than myself.
If you’re still reading this, you must also believe that we humans are not going through the motions of our lives by ourselves. Is it our dead relatives pulling us back from the brink? Is it God? Which god? Is it the universe? Karma? Luck? All of the above?
It’s nice to tell someone about the hummingbird and hear a better response than laughter. Everyone has their own belief system, and even though yours and mine don’t align perfectly, let me have my nice thoughts about spirituality. And most of all, don’t laugh.
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 