FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER!

(re-run)

My crazy, neurotic, stressed-out rescue girl, Daisy, who has been a Nervous Nellie (sorry, Grandma) for the last two and half years and probably a few years before that, loves it when I Zoom.

I Zoom with the chorus.

I Zoom with the ski club.

I Zoom with girlfriends.

Whenever Daisy hears me talking to my laptop computer, she comes running.

I gave her a back massage while I was talking to my girl friends.

Then she jumped on my lap while I was having a virtual TGIF with the ski-club people. I gave her another back massage.

The third time she jumped on my lap while I met the new chorus director, I started to give her a back massage and then realized the connection.

“Oh!”

Daisy has trained me well.

She likes my magic fingers.

She likes my karate chops up and down her back.

She likes it when I get under her rhinestone collar.

She likes it when I knead her up and down the spine.

She stays and stays. Sometimes my hands get tired and I stop. She hops off my lap. I am no use to her anymore.

Daisy’s neck isn’t as tight as it was. Her back isn’t as tense as it was. Zoom has changed her life.

Pepper watches me as I massage the smaller dog, the one who came later.

I feel bad. But she’s too big for my lap. And she isn’t as tense. I got her as a puppy, unlike Daisy, who was surrendered twice before I got her as an adult dog.

I will Furminate Pepper later. But that’s an outside thing, not something I can do while I am on Zoom. Black hair flying everywhere.

As far as Zoom aerobics goes, both dogs come running and wag their tails as they watch me flail around the room.

“What are you doing?” they ask me with their eyes.

“I’m trying to dance and kick my legs side to side, but your furry bodies are in my way. Could you please move?”

No back rubs during aerobics. They get no results and lose interest.

Hey, I can’t be your personal masseuse 24/7! I have to exercise, don’t I?

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll go on a walk when I’m finished.”

A dog’s life.

Or should I say a dog’s pandemic life?

OOPS!

I just took my exercise class, which is called Zumba Gold, not Senior Aerobics.

For Daisy, her massages will now be referred to as Zoomba Gold.