Nancy met Al online at Our Time. Al liked her profile and her pictures and contacted Nancy. He offered up his phone number. She called him and got to know him a little bit. They made a date for a Monday night.
They met at the Lafayette Park Hotel for dinner and drinks. He was tall with a shaved head and cute personality. By the end of the night, they had kissed and held hands. Nancy was pleased with how things were going.
On the second date, two days later, they went to a movie. He was tired and dropped her off right after it was over. Nancy was confused.
On the third date, two days after that, they were going to go to a comedy club, but it was sold out. Instead they met at an Italian restaurant in Lafayette. After dinner, Al gave her a hug and kiss in the parking lot but didn’t walk her to her car. She had to walk to her car in the dark alone.
That weekend Nancy went to Sacramento to see her daughter. Al texted her all weekend. Nancy wasn’t glued to her phone and didn’t see the messages. When she did read them, he said things like “I am so jealous” and “I miss you.” By the end of Sunday, the texts were coming fast and furious. “Will you spend the night with me tomorrow night?”
Nancy wasn’t sure she was feeling it, plus, how does one plan for that? Isn’t it supposed to happen organically? Did he really want her to schedule their first night of intimacy so he could put it on his calendar in ink?
“Well, I really can’t say yet,” she texted back.
“I haven’t had enough time to know yet,” she said.
“I blew it,” he said. “How unromantic of me!”
Al apologized four times. Nancy decided she was a little bit scared of him at this point. The texts came for hours.
Then the texts started talking about sex.
“I don’t know if I remember how.”
“I don’t know if I could even do it.”
Nancy was rethinking the whole thing with Al.
Tuesday night Nancy went to her class till 9:30. After class she found 15 new texts from Al.
“It’s time we’re together.”
“You need to come over right now and throw your clothes on the floor.”
Nancy texted him back. “I just got home from class. I am not coming over.”
He texted back. “Well I tried. You tried, I guess. I’m a fan of yours, But it’s not happening.”
Nancy was relieved. She texted back. “That’s okay.”
The next day she got another text from Al. “I miss you.”
Nancy didn’t respond. What started out as a hopeful relationship disintegrated into an unpleasant, kind of scary mess.
What a bummer. His online profile had been so upbeat.
Couldda Wouldda Shouldda
This guy was too out there for a second chance. Nancy listened to her gut and got out. She won’t give up online dating, but she will watch closer for the many red flags that seemed to be popping up all over the place with Al.